Are you being kind to yourself? Or are you focusing mainly on where you can improve? Read below to find out why this is a problem and what you can do about it.
Last week, at a 30th birthday breakfast, I had a one-on-one with a friend about her work at a private city practice. Sadly, my friend (lets call her Juliet), had been feeling quite anxious about work. Although, Juliet is pretty experienced her boss is a little too good at providing constant constructive criticism and perhaps has a few leadership lessons of her own to learn.
As a result of the constant correction rather than praise that Juliet’s been receiving, she’s started to replay much of what she could improve in her head and she’s stopped focusing on the facts: she is a very competent and dedicated medical professional with several years of experience, she cares deeply about her patients and she makes a real difference in their lives.
When we focus on lack or how we’re disappointed with ourselves, what we wish we’d done and not what we’ve achieved or accomplished, or the positive feedback we’ve received, we can end up with a negative balance in our heads. If you keep on playing the negative mp3s in your head soon enough you’ll start to believe them. This will begin to cancel out all the great things you already are. Like when you’ve been acknowledged for making a difference, when you’ve been kind or when you’ve pushed through a big challenge without giving up and come out ahead.
When was the last time you gave yourself a break? When did you last say okay that didn’t go well I’ll do better next time rather than I cannot believe you just did that!
So how do you flip the balance?
Get a beautiful book you can write in. Whenever you receive a compliment or positive acknowledgement write it in the book.
Stop speaking badly about yourself privately and publicly. If you receive a compliment say thank you. Talk about what’s going well for you and how you’ve succeeded.
You’re awesome! Write this on your mirror, put it on your vision board and set it up as a series of reminders on your phone.
So now it’s time to take action. Why not try these suggestions and see how much better you can feel by being kind to yourself.